-WE admitted we were powerless over nicotine-> that our lives had become unmanageable

– I Xih-Zephyrine Ziggy Zih admit I am/was powerless over nicotine that my life had become unmanageable.

I am control addict and to admit that a common and socially acceptable drug has power over me is hard. It’s true, however. I wasn’t vaping to be cool or acceptable. I vaped to chase a high as any other drug addict. There is no difference between me and a heroin, crack, and/or alcoholic. I am a addict. Powerless for the moment bu tt not forever.. Vaping impacted my bulimia, increased my anxiety, heightened my depression. made my schizophrenia worse and increased my social phobias.

Xih, why were you vaping?

It was to escape life, the hell of life, being parentless, accepting being trans, accepting being a black gay man,; escaping from the realization that I don’t have a family, holidays I am alone, school isn’t easy sometimes; this warmth, head dizziness, light headness, and euphoria I would get when my lungs skipped a breath, heart palpitations, and being on the brink of death was a thrill and I a risk I was going to take and wouldn’t stop vaping until I experienced all these bodily dying functions and sensations.

I was killing myself. Xih, do you really want this to be your way out at age 32? I am powerless, I am an addict.

Nictotine was my God, when my God says, “Thou shall not have any others gods before me.” Yahweh, I am sorry.

Vaping was:

better than sex

greater than food

greater than love

greater than my education

greater than my fellowship

greater than my church

even greater than my savior my behavior displayed.

Until no. I quit on June 4, 2024 when God revealed to me viz scripture in the book of Ephesians that I have an addiction, and there was a God who saw my flaws opened my eyes and saud, “I love you this much that I want you to serve me, whole, clean and sober.

“You journey your testimony is a visual representation of my love and mercy. M<y grace is sufficient for enough for you, just like it was with the Apostle Paul, this is your thorn. Only via my Holy spirit I will remove it and I promise.” says the Lord

I love the Lord, for he first loved me.

Step One.