• Kwanzaa 2025: Ujima

    28 Dec 2025
    Being African American, Journal Style!, kwanzaa

    What can I say about Ujima?

    To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.

    So how can we make Ujima a reality?

    I say shopping local. Times are more challenging, and it’s easier to shop at Walmart, Target, and Amazon. I admit that, due to delivery and transportation issues, I do most of my shopping via Amazon. I am the first to admit that on this principle, I fail.

    However, I decided to start changing my behavior and investing in my community by going to black-owned barbers, shopping once a month or two at the local farmers’ market, and researching black-owned businesses. Whatever is affordable, I will invest in, even if it is something small. We can make a difference by removing money from monopolies and companies that don’t benefit our community or the government.

    Another most precious way is to invest in black and brown children. We need to invest in their education, their community, their queerness, protect them, promote natural hairstyles without shame, protect the right for youth to share their identity, be proud of their identity, not to feel as though they have to hide their radiant skin, and tell them that they are smart and have promises for a productive and fantastic future. Invest in state and HBCUs, mentor students from the pulpits, and more. Youth are the future of making this world better. We shouldn’t make them feel as though they are wrong, a burden, and another statistic of their environment. I stand by every black, brown, queer, intelligent, quirky, and expressive child, teen, and young adult. I stand by every youth in foster care of color, the undocumented, the homeless, and even youth incarcerated. First of all, we should not be incarcerating children; we need to invest in quality social workers and promote healing, self-confidence, self-preservation, and self-respect. We do not need to penalize them and teach them to be healthy adults. A part of that is hiring different people who are queer, trans, of color, intelligent, and practicing natural healing methods such as yoga, as well as promoting a healthy diet. Young lives will be changed if we invest in them.

    I also want to say that let’s not forget older people and those who are aging. The homeless. The mentally ill. The physically disabled. These black and brown people are a part of our community and should not be marginalized and treated with disgrace. We are not different in our rights to have a good quality of life.

    Ujamaa is more than money; it’s investments made into the souls of God’s creation. Lastly, let’s not forget to give back to the earth, which is rich in color, black, and brown. This year, try planting more flowers and trees. We are killing and taking away from our planet without remembering reciprocity.

    This is UJIMA.

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  • Kwanzaa 2025: Kujichagulia

    27 Dec 2025
    Being African American, Journal Style!, kwanzaa

    What can I say about Kujichagulia?

    We often see one another and say, “I see you.”

    However, today, as we strive for a Pan-African version of self-actualization, we attempt to “see us” in our pursuit of self-determination.

    It’s an attempt to take away stigma, racism, hatred, and all throughout the year, what we have internalized.

    Self-determination is to set our own rules, define ourselves as the Afro Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses; that we are.

    This movement is not about “I” but “We” to create our own community, define our own self-interest, create for ourselves, speak for ourselves, and make decisions that benefit not only us individually but us collectively.

    If you only see me, you don’t see my people.

    Our people with curly kinky hair

    Our people who have been kissed intimately by the sun itself

    Our people who are killed daily

    Our native land, which we long for in actuality.

    Self-determination is moving our people up and out and preserving the Afrocentricism that we hold in our DNA.

    Happy Kwanzaa

    -Xih-Z Zih

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  • Kwanzaa 2025: Umoja

    26 Dec 2025
    My Story, Topic Thought.

    What can I say about Umoja or Unity?

    Our nation is broken

    Our Earth is dying

    Our people, my people, are being killed, deported, and children are being stolen from their parents

    Our leadership is divisive, blind with greed, and ignorant of the nation and the people it serves. Our leader thinks he is a king

    America is crying out from the ancestors that they lynched, mobbed, murdered, and raped

    There is this genetic predisposition placed in the DNA of my people that we are “dirty, garbage, uneducated, and poor.”

    However, my brothers, sisters, and others kissed by the lips of the sun, we have a reason to celebrate.

    As the songwriter says: “We have come this far by faith, leaning on the Lord, trusting in His hold name, and He has never failed us yet.”

    As scripture says it: “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good and his mercies endureth forever.”

    Our nation may be in turmoil, but the negro people are not.

    We have seen this side of history, fought for our rights, and crossed the Jordan.

    We are the answer to a slave’s prayers

    We are united and undivided

    For we know the truth as long as the sun rises our mealain shall never be erased from this earth. For if it is, that means there is no new day, no new dawn, no moon to light the night

    Kwanzaa is our holiday that is often ignored, but while there is life in my body, I will not forget those carried on ships as cargo sold from West Africa.

    I will not forget the times as slaves being sold like property, being discarded like trash, babies ripped away from mothers, and made to work on land without pay. Bitten by snakes in the Everglades, getting married in secret, jumping over a broom to signify the unification of two souls.

    I will not forget what binds our souls, history, and stories together.

    I will not live in denial of the progression, regression, and possession taken and yet to be taken

    We haven’t made it to the mountain tops, and it will take generations after us to get there

    But we will, and we will let freedom ring

    We may be down, but we are freer than we were and are only captive and held back by those who like to step on our necks, drag us from cars, shoot first, ask later, and by our own imagination.

    We will sing what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr envisioned and say these words with power, authority, and triumph:

    Free at last

    Free at last

    Thank God Almighty, WE are free at last.

    Happy Kwanzaa, let’s stay together forever. Umoja means Unity, and we are more together as a people than we are as a part of a nation.

    • Xih-Z. Zih

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  • Road Rage, I’m letting you go!

    13 Nov 2025
    My Story, Topic Thought.

    IT IS TIME FOR ME TO FORGIVE!

    Dear Mother,

    I have been angry with you long enough. I accept now that you did not have the capacity to love me. I accept your disposition. I acknowledge that you did your best. I assume you’re giving up. I forgive you! I forgive you! I pray you are blessed, happy, whole, and complete. You will always be my mother, and I your son. This is the end of all strife between us. I am of you, but not you. I am my own being and an adult. To let you harm me would be a choice and permission I have given. – Zih

    Dear Brother,

    The anger I hold towards you is profound. The resentment I hold towards you is profound. The love I have for you runs deeper. You will never know how much I love you because you never gave me a chance to love you. I accept you for who you are, I love your creativity, and I will love whoever you love. I wish you nothing but the best. I want my twin older brother to be happy, prosperous, and living a life worth living. Please, big brother, never settle for less, and keep the good fight of faith. You are worthy. You are handsome. You are smart. You are the beloved of Christ himself. Today, I release you. You no longer hold negative energy over my life. No more will I allow our awful past to haunt me. I will not speak negatively about your name and will continually ask God for forgiveness if bitterness arises within me. I forgive you. I forgive you. -Zih

    Dear Charles,

    From the time you were 4 years old, sick, and vomited red Kool-Aid on me, I loved you. I raised you like the little brother you were always to me. Oh, how I hope to hug you one more time and take a glimpse at the young man you have become. To me, you are perfect. One of a kind. A prince and leader. You are smart, and I will always cry good tears when I think of you. You helped parts of me heal, and your allowance of me to love you and help take care of you kept me. Thank you for being you. Please, young King, don’t settle for anything but greatness. You can do all things through Christ, who gives you strength. You are capable. You are worthy of love. It’s not a goodbye, but until we meet again, stay close to the cross and keep carrying on! Love you forever and ever. Hunnybun

    Dear Dickey Family,

    How I wish you could have gotten to know the true me. How I wish you could have truly loved me. I wish you wouldn’t hurt and try to destroy my character, person, and spirit. How I wish I could sing and dance like you. But I can’t. God gave me a brain, and I’m going to use it for greatness. I love every aunt, uncle, and cousin. I thank God for the good memories we shared with Grandma. I value all of your strength and perseverance. Now we have grown into a nation, so close but so far. I pray that everyone who is hurting heals and lives an abundant life. I have to let you go. I have to put my foot down finally. While you are living your life, I am suffering from PTSD. But today is a new day, and I say what Jacob said to Esau: May the Lord watch between me and thee while we’re absent one from another. Love you. -Mimi

    Dear Dad,

    I always yearned to be your kid. I loved the two years we spent together. You are hardworking, honest, and have a great sense of humor. Spiritually wise with a significant amount of discernment. I think about what could have been. Then I accept reality. I love you and wish you all the best in life. – Your Kid!

    Dear Gramma,

    I miss you. I wish I could hug you one more time. You were my best friend, and I am sorry I could not have saved you. I thank you for being honest in your dying days. When you admitted fear, but you were glad you only had to die once. You were my rock. You were my true Mama, so with the host of angels and you singing in the heavenly choir, cooking and baking soul food for Jesus. Watch over me. No matter what has happened between us, the love we shared outweighs it all. Rest in Peace- Domenia

    Dear Griffins/Leitermans,

    You did the most harm to me that has ever been done. I have been raped, sodomized, neglected, and beaten with belts until I bled. The damage you did makes all the above-mentioned look like a piece of ice cream. You didn’t have to take me. I was compared to a dog. I was never your child. You did not deserve the names ‘Mom,’ ‘Dude,’ ‘Sister,’ or ‘Brother’ to come from my mouth. I am livid with you because I suffered while you stayed warm. I want to hate you, but that is not who I am. I want nothing to do with you ever again. Never try to contact me. Don’t even come to my funeral. I am saying goodbye and erasing you from my mind. I am saying may my Lord and Savior judge you accordingly. However, know I forgive you. What you meant for evil, God turned it around for my good. You can’t hurt me anymore. I am free from you. I stand on my own two feet as a black man. I pray you all have happy lives. Good-Bye -Mia

    St. Mary’s

    I pray you grow your minds. I pray you become open and affirming. Teaching the bible from an intellectual standpoint and academically, not just the history passed down orally from enslavers. You put me on a pedal stool, and when I am homeless, hungry, and coming into my trans and pansexual identity, you abandon me. I can’t comprehend how and why you are so dysfunctional, yet still going. This church has hurt so many people. I pray for your leaders and their souls. Love God. Live for God. Worship God in Spirit and in Truth. I forgive you and know I’m not looking back. I forgive you, and you know who you are. I am a transgender man. I am queer. I am pansexual/gay. I am a Christian – Xih-Zih

    To my many rapists and abusers,

    You have tainted my soul enough. The pain you inflicted will teach me no more. You are evil. You are demonic. You need to find Jesus. What’s crazy is that I’m more hurt by everyone I addressed above than you. However, I live with the physical scars from you. It has affected how I see myself, how I eat, and has dictated my life to the point where I am afraid of what I am. A black man. I do forgive you. I don’t wish you well. Kind of, I do. But I 100% forgive you. – Twin 2

    To Jen (with one “n”),

    You hurt me by calling me a gold digger, basically. You’ve done so much for me. I’ll never forget. You created memories with me that I will cherish forever. You loved me, but it was conditional. I am not sure what happened post-med school, but you thought you were always right and were often wrong. You married, and I became your burden. Getting you out of my life was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I’m grown. I am a Christian. I have new friends and mentors. You were just a stepping stone or stumbling block; however, I was pushed into my purpose. Most importantly, I forgive you. I will hold no grudge against you. Have a great life and be as successful as you can. I’ll always care about you. – Domenia

    I had to write a blog. Not for likes or more subscribers, but so I can heal and move on. For once in my life, I have not had a suicidal thought in a week and 3 days. I am not whole. I am still broken; however, I am overcoming the hurdles to wholeness. I believe in forgiveness strongly. I forgive, and sometimes it takes reason, logic, reading my Bible, and prayer. But I always forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are letting the perpetrator win. Forgiveness is like stress when held on, you gain weight, overeat, develop mental illnesses, and physical ones. Forgiveness is healing. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you have to forget. But don’t let that thought hinder and bind you. Allow it to help you create barriers, boundaries, and a safe space for yourself. Thank you for reading!

    Blessings,

    Xih-Zih

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