I wanted to publish a prayer I wrote because Christ gave me a great accomplishment in my grades in Dinivity School. This is my second class and I earned an A grade. My first Divinity professor didn’t believe in me due to my mental health, queerness, and transness, but this term I’ve proved why I worked harder, stayed up later, and received a crown of a good grade. The prayer goes like this:

Yahweh,

Where would I be without your grace? This semester has been so trying and hard, with me actively suicidal and making suicidal attempts. Being actively depressed, mixed, and manic. And, actively grieving the family I lost, and the death of my grandma, my best friend.

I cannot take credit for this alone, and I would be foolish to do so. You’ve put therapists, APRNs, Pastors, Aunt Sue, Mentors, social workers, and Psychiatrists all in my pathway for me to mold into who I am. I live with chronic pain due to an invisible autoimmune disease (fibromyalgia). I received the diagnosis of spinal stenosis and spine disease NOS. I wanted to give up. I wanted to die, and I had asked you to kill me. I rewrote my will and testament. Then you showered me with your grace and mercy. Your redemptive power is what keeps me going. I love you, Jesus, because you first loved me.

I can do all things through Christ Jesus, who is my strength. No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper. I am the head and not the tail, a lender and not a borrower; above and not beneath. Your rod and staff guide me. If I make my bed in hell thou art there. If I make my bed in the heavens thou art there. You will never leave me nor forsake me. You know my end from my beginning. In this, I give you praise.

Yahweh, you’ve been my shelter in the storm, food when I had none, you living Word encourages my soul daily, and I will not be ashamed to say for God I live and in him I have my being. For thou art with me.

This grade is more than a GPA credit, my friends. This grade is transitioning me to the next university I plan to apply to. This grade encourages me that there is more for me. This grade says, “I still got this.” If anyone knows me, academic integrity and freedom in academics mean the world to me. Being able to learn about the beautiful passion of Christ’s death/resurrection in depth, read Greek, Hebrew, and understand what theologians before me have written, and lastly to be able to start developing who I am as a queer, black, trans theologian means everything to me.

I declare and decree I will earn my Master’s of Divinity. I will earn my PhD. I will earn more scholarships. I will gain acceptance into Regent University. I am more than my circumstances, more than my pain, more than my mental health, and more than my past.

I feel the Heavens cheering me on! I see the leaders of faith before me in the Heavens cheering me on. I see my aunt Linda and Gramma rooting for me in a stadium of those who made it into eternity. Thank you, Jesus. Where would I be without your Grace?

Your Grace and Mercy cover me all the days of my life. Your Grace and Mercy always provide me. Your Grace and Mercy walk with me and are my shadow. I can never run from your presence, so I embrace it. I know firmly who my God is. I am affirmed in my personal salvation in Christ. You never left and never will. You knew me when I was in my mother’s womb and had a future of hope for prosperity for me. To many, I look like a bum; I’m on disability, Medicaid/Medicare, and food stamps. I am considered the lowest of the low.

Love you, Jesus, and thank you for another Victory. Thank you for,

GRACE IS THE STAR OF MY STORY.

In Jesus’s mighty name,

Selah and Amen.

Xih-Zephyrine Ziggy Zih 10/11/2025 12:45 am

End.